no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
