Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
