I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
