lets start a swedish sibling band together
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
