I want to make a zoo with you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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