Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
