i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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