so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
