i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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