sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize