I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
