I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
