So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She's not a foreskin expert like you
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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