Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
