this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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