you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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