I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
