Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They took my balls.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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