so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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