Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
