dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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