I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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