You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
