3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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