You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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