i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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