Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's just like the Real World with babies
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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