Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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