Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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