based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
