im gay
i know
yea but for you.
barbara walters just said penis...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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