I love black thongs
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just cropdusted the office
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
