You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
