YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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