first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
