I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
