rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
