i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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