Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
