either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he puts the penis in happiness.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
