I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
