he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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