is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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