the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
