My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
