Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
