Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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