No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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