Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
