You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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