Grow some girl-balls and come out already
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
