I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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