Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
