Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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