People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's official drugs can't kill me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
