why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think your dad took our porno
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
