i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
