I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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