im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
