how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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