Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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