I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You don't make any sense
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