The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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