I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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