My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
