just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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