well he's currently spooning the coffee table
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
