Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
