wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
